Dear slow left lane drivers,This is my final attempt at talking my way through our issues. As a warning from here on its a physical kinda thing we're gonna find ourselves in the middle of. Think of it like this: the left lane on the highway is a club that's way too cool and trendy for you...Even though you're in it your not having any fun and nobody wants you there either.
I (along with everyother DC suburbanite) spend a minimum of 12 hours per week jammed in the hell called 495/270. That being said, I know am not the only person with some serious road rage issues that are exacerbated by your presence in OUR lane. If you wanna drive with a 300 yard gap in between you and the cars in front of you then stay in YOUR 3 other lanes filled with soccer moms and blue-haired bingo-dobbing seniors. If your pullin this shit in my lane be prepared to be accosted and berrated until you either A.) move over or B.) pull over to recieve your jaw breaking roundhouse kick that you have so graciously earned...I'm serious. I've gotten outa the car before and it went suprisingly well, so I'm ready to test my luck again.
Let me say I'm sorry for how our relationship has developedand that I wish it wasn't like this. I respect your right to drive slow over there, so whats your problem with me over here. I'm sorry you dont wanna go home cause your wife looks like a troll and you got 7 screamin shit-factory kids at home, NOT MY FAULT. I wanna get where I'm goin cause I like my pad and my woman, so scoot your ass over so I can just that in a timely manner. Thanks so much.
Sincerely,
"Aggressive Drivers of the DMV"
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